I hate to go to the grocery store, don't you? I'd rather go to the dentist every day than go to the grocery once a week. Both of these outings raise my blood pressure and lower my cash on hand. At least you can get insurance to help cover the cost of your dental expenses!
Before I make that dreaded trek to the grocery, I take careful inventory of our needs for the household. I visualize the layout of the store in my mind, then I write out my grocery list according to where each item is located within the store. I do this so I can quickly push that cart down those aisles, in sequence, acquiring my goods in the most timely manner possible, thus shortening the length of my torture.
Sounds like a great idea, doesn't it? It would work, too, if there weren't a few inevitable complications. The stores in which I shop must have at least a hundred or so shopping carts. The cart I choose will always be the one that's wheels decide to go in four opposing directions at the same time. Oh no; it doesn't start out that way. No! This occurs after I have too many items to carry in my arms, when I still have twenty-five more items to find, and when I'm a good half mile from where the shopping carts are kept. I have no choice but to slow down as I try to control the cart that wanders more than my mind, which is a lot!
Even if I luck out and get a cart with excellent alignment, there are always additional obstacles between that check-out counter and me. You know who I mean, don't you? Yes, those people who feel compelled to hold family reunions, PTA meetings, national conventions, whatever, in the middle of grocery store aisles. There must be much more suitable places for their gatherings than in these spaces that are roughly five feet wide. (Get out'ta my way!!!)
Eventually I survive the maze and make my way to the frozen foods section, my last stop before heading for home plate, the check-out counter. This is where things always get a little tricky for me. Because these are some of the heaviest and most expensive items, I often spend a little too much time trying to make wise selections. By the time I leave this area I have usually gone over my budget, smashed my bread, and my ice cream is beginning to melt.
At long last the end is in sight. I say "in sight" because there are usually several carts between the cash register and me. This wait gives me ample time to do a number of things. First, I try to figure out if I have enough money with me for my purchases. Once assured I'm not over my limit, I can settle back and relax a little. An avid people-watcher, I find this the perfect place to observe human nature. Check-out lines run the gambit from friendly smiles and tabloid readers, to grumblers, near child abusers, and all-out riot-evokers. As the line slowly moves along, I reshape my bread and wipe up the trail my melting ice cream is leaving behind.
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